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Captain Eggman, Admiral Mephiles, their Pirates, and Goanna/Mobiusland's Greatest Criminal Minds
(In Mobiusland, which is a beautiful small island, in the south lagoon, was a pirate ship. And on board, all the pirates are heard singing) Pirates: (Singing) Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-rovin’ over the sea Give me a career As a buccaneer It’s the life of a pirate for me Oh, a life of a pirate for me (On the ship, there were various villains on board, doing their usual business such as swabbing the deck and doing busy things, and they were Captain Eggman and Admiral Mephiles’ crew. And here comes the introductions. The first one is a 14-year-old boy that almost looks like Sora, but with almost pale skin, yellow eyes, and dark gray short spiky hair, wearing a black armor-like helmet with a black glass dome (Sometimes), and mostly wore a black and red bodily vein-like tunic, red gauntlets, black gloves, a dark red belt around the waist, and two dark red belts criss-crossing in front underneath the first belt, black vein-like pants, pale dark red leg boots, and sometimes carries a black and red evil-looking Keyblade with two blue reptile-like eyes. He is Vanitas, the bounty hunter and fighter of the crew. The second is a man with short dark brown chin-length hair, a small scar on his left cheek, and a gold yellow left eye, and wearing a black eye patch on his scarred right eye, a red neck bandana, a gray long-sleeved tunic, white gloves, gray pants, and black boots. He is Braig, the smart aleck sharp-shooter of the crew. The third is a huge purple, green, and gray orb-shaped robot with purple electrical arms and legs and a huge image face of George Lopez. He is Mr. Electric, the mechanic and jokester of the crew. The fourth is an orange bodily suit monkey man-like creature with a gold hoop earrings, black sunglasses, a white spot on his chest and belly, a yellow plush bear on his side, which is a Monzaemon, and he carries a lot of guitars. He is Etemon, the singer and entertainer of the crew. The fifth is a vampire-like man with short dirty blonde hair, red eyes, pointy ears, sharp vampire canines, and pale gray skin, and wearing a red bat-shaped eye mask, a blue long-sleeved jumpsuit with red bat symbols on his shoulders, yellow buttons and rims, olive green belts on the waist, green sleeve rims with yellow buttons, a yellow bat shaped brooch holding a black cape with red trimming, gray gloves with light gray bat symbols on them, and black boots with silver skull symbols on the feet. He is Myotismon, the bounty hunter and fighter of the crew. The sixth is a gold and silver armored two-tailed sea serpent-like creature with red eyes and gray hair. He is Metalseadramon, the fighter and lookout of the crew. The seventh is a wooden puppet-like creature with red eyes and a little long metal nose, and is wearing a red plushy cap with a yellow ball on the end and a yellow skull and poison symbol on the center, blue overalls with gold bullet shells on the straps, white gloves, a wooden marionette on his back with four red strings attached to him, and he carries a huge metal hammer with cannon-like holes. He is Puppetmon, another entertainer and fighter of the crew. The eighth is a silver armored dinosaur-like robot with matching silver armored skulls on his knees and two cannons on his back and has silver, blue, and red wires. He is Machinedramon, the militant member of the crew. The ninth is a clown-like man with a black and white halved mask with a red heart on the white side, orange hair sticking out, a red long-sleeved suit with a white Victorian-like neck and sleeve rims, two gray spade symbols on his shoulders, white gloves, four swords equipped on his back in the shape of an x, blue ribbons sticking out of the back where his swords are, green pants, and yellow knee-high jester boots. He is Piedmon, another fighter and entertainer of the crew. The tenth is a human woman with pale blue eyes, light purple short spiky hair, and is wearing a dark purple tunic with a right arm sleeve over a red bodily jumpsuit, a metal armor gauntlet on the left arm by her hand, red fingerless gloves, a light purple belt, red knee-high boots, and sometimes wears a dark brown scanner sunglasses. She is Hunter J, the bounty hunter of the crew. The eleventh is a Bergen with gray skin, a pink snout-like nose, yellow eyes with green pupils, and blue short hair, and wearing a white chef outfit. She is Chef Bergen, the cook of the crew. The twelfth is a black and purple zigzag vampire/bat-like creature with yellow eyes and wearing a purple cape with red trimming, and a purple bat wing brooch holding the cape up. He is Antasma, the fighter of the crew and Myotismon’s partner since they’re both vampiric. The thirteenth is a huge Koopa king with red hair, red eyes, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green and beige and the head has two white horns on each side, a yellow tail with white spikes, a huge green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and black cuffs with small white spikes around the neck, shoulders, and wrists. He is Bowser, King of the Koopa Troop and brute fighter of the crew. The fourteenth is a tall bald muscular man with brown eyes and is wearing an armored Egyptian-like hat with fake black braids sticking out at the bottom to make it look like his hair, black and gold wristband-like gauntlets, a gold and turquoise armored tunic, sometimes mistaken for a dress much to his annoyance, and a pair of gold and turquoise boots. He is Kahmunrah, the phony pharaoh of Egypt and fighter of the crew. And the last one is a dark green fat ugly alien with yellow eyes, and a cigar in his mouth (Sometimes), and is wearing a pink shirt, a purple business jacket, purple business pants, and dark gray flip-flop sandals. He is Mr. Swackhammer, the dealer of the crew. Anyway, once the crew was done doing their works, they, except Etemon, Puppetmon, and Machinedramon, went up to a Captain and Admiral’s headquarter door with a crude drawing of their captain and admiral on it in an angry mood. The reason why they are angry: They want to leave Mobiusland and forget about killing Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles and they are sick of being stuck on the island. As they sang, they began to angrily throw knives at the drawing on the door) Pirates: (Singing) Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it’s all over A jolly sea roger Drops in on his friend Davy Jones Oh.... (Then, the door opens to reveal three shape-like robots and a Zillian. The first robot is male with red orb-like armor and light blue eyes. He is Orbot, Eggman and Mephiles’ first mate, who sometimes likes to be sarcastic towards his bosses and acts as the other crew’s brains. The second robot is male with yellow cube-like armor and light blue eyes. He is Cubot, Eggman and Mephiles’ second mate, who is not very smart at times and usually acts like a cowboy, a gangster, and a pirate with his glitchy voice box at times. The last robot is female with blue pyramid-like armor and light blue eyes. She is Tribot, Eggman and Mephiles’ third mate who usually acts at the mates’ voice of reason whenever they argue. And the Zillian with them is green with short red upside-down t-shaped hair, dark green eyes, a little long nose, and is wearing a brown circus ringleader suit, a light red bowtie, a light brown leather belt with a gold z-shaped buckle, red and blue horizontal striped pants, a gold chain dangling from the pants pocket on the right side, light brown shoes, and sometimes carries a living purple reptile-like creature head with dark green eyes, a little long nose, and a red bowtie over its white neck rim clips, on a dark purple conducting stick. He is Wack Lizardi, a circus ringmaster and Eggman and Mephiles’ fourth mate, who loves to be insulting towards anyone, verbally and physically. As they exited the captain and admiral’s headquarters, with Cubot carrying a tray with a shaving kit, they finished singing the song with the pirates too) Mates and pirates: (Singing) Oh, my good friend Davy Jones (Unaware of how angry the crew is, Wack and the robots greeted them happily) Cubot: Good morning, shipmates! Tribot: It’s a beautiful morning! Orbot: Yeah! Wack: What’zzzz going on? (Suddenly, Bowser roughly yanked Wack up to him, Metalseadramon, and Chef Bergen) Bowser: And what’s good about it, Wack Lizardi, Orbot, Cubot, and Tribot?! Metalseadramon: Especially when we’re on this island? Chef Bergen: Yeah, there’s nothing good about it! (Bowser tossed Wack aside, bumping him into Orbot and Cubot. Antasma then grabbed Cubot and Myotismon pointed his knife at Cubot’s belly) Antasma: Here we are, collecting barnacles on this miserable island! Scree! Myotismon: Not to mention no treasure to steal whatsoever! (They released Cubot. As Cubot was about to recover, his panicked when Hunter J pointed her gun at him) Hunter J: While his captainship and admiralship plays ring around the rosy with Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends! Swackhammer: And one of his Lost Starter Pokemon friends of his is more annoying than a talking macaw. Mr. Electric: Heck, one time they beat us, that friend wouldn’t shut up on his gloating on us! (Cubot backed off nervously) Cubot: Look out there, it might go off! (Orbot tried to speak up) Orbot: Well, excuse us for…! (Suddenly, Piedmon tied Wack and the robots’ necks up with a lasso and barely hung them) Piedmon: We want to get back to the business of looting ships! (Vanitas then came up to them with his Keyblade) Vanitas: Why, I even almost forgot how to slit a throat! (He sliced the lasso with his Keyblade, freeing Wack and the robots. After recovering, Wack and the robots glared at them) Orbot: Why not lash out at the captain and the admiral instead about your problems?! Tribot: That way…. Kahmunrah: Because they will punish us with death! Swackhammer: Especially with their pet Digimon, Seadramon! Bowser: I don’t like to be Digimon bait at all! Tribot: So what?! Go talk to him! Braig: (Shooting his crystal dart at them) Then you better drop it to them! (Wack and the robots dodged the crystal dart. Then the crew began throwing their knives at them, making them dodge them too as they hurried up the stairs) Mr. Electric: Tell them we want to go back to sea, see?! (On “see,” he throws his dagger at Orbot, but he and the mates dodged) Mr. Electric: (Sarcastically) Oops! Watts out for knives! (He and the pirates laugh sneeringly at the joke. Wack and the robots glared at the pirates. They then secretly stuck their tongues out at them and walked away with Cubot still carrying the shaving kit tray. Once on the way to their captain and admiral, they began talking) Orbot: The crew is so immature! Wack: I agree! Orbot: (Mockingly) “Watts out for knives.” (In his real angry voice) Who does he and the crew think they are?! Tribot: Let’s just go talk to the captain and the admiral about this and they’ll stop! (The mates nods in agreement and they continued to their captain and admiral. On the top deck of the ship, the captain himself is reading a map of Mobiusland on his desk with a crystal-like hedgehog that resembles Shadow the Hedgehog looking with him. The captain is a man with a bald head, a medium sized pink nose, a big orange mustache, and is wearing silver goggles on his bald head, dark blue sunglasses, a red scientist-like jacket with white linings and yellow buttons and rims, a white glove on his right hand, a red cape, and a black bodily jumpsuit underneath, and has a silver hook in place of his left hand. He is Dr. Eggman, or Captain Eggman as he’s called here, and is very temperamental. The crystal hedgehog with him has black, white, and purple shading all over his body, red eyes, and green snake-like pupils and no mouth and nose. He is Mephiles the Dark, admiral of the pirate crew and a very cold-hearted one too. Anyway, Eggman and Mephiles got annoyed and angry while they read the Mobiusland map on the desk) Eggman: Blast that Sonic the Hedgehog, and his friends, Tails and Knuckles, too! Mephiles: I completely agree, Eggman. If only we could find their hideout, we’d trap them in there! Eggman: I know, Mephiles, but where is it? Mephiles: Hmm, Mermaid Lagoon? No, we searched there already. And we combed Herbivore Cove. (Mephiles suddenly noticed a spot on the map’s western part of the island) Mephiles: (Pointing at it) How about here? Eggman: No, no! That’s Troll Ter...! (Mephiles suddenly stopped him and began to change his mind) Mephiles: But what if we…? (He whispers in Eggman’s ear and Eggman smiled evilly on this) Eggman: Wait a minute. That’s it. Good idea, Mephiles. Those cupcake-loving happy creatures know this island than we do on our own ship. (He and Mephiles began to ponder) Eggman: I wonder.... Mephiles: Yeah…. (Then, Wack, Orbot, Cubot, and Tribot arrived as Cubot placed the shaving kit tray on a nearby barrel. Eggman and Mephiles, while still thinking of an idea, noticed them briefly) Cubot: Good morning, Captain and Admiral! Orbot: It’s a beautiful morning! Wack: Yeah! Tribot: Same thing you said before to the crew. (Suddenly, Eggman and Mephiles got an idea that they shouted out, startling the mates) Eggman: I got it! Mephiles: Yes! Perfect! What is it? (The captain and admiral turned to the mates) Eggman: We’ll ask Princess Poppy and Prince Branch! Cubot: (Confused) Wait, Princess Poppy and Prince Branch, Captain and Admiral? Eggman: Yes. Those two trolls. (The mates gave confused looks) Mephiles: You know, King Peppy’s daughter and her husband. Eggman: They’ll know where that meddling hedgehog and his friends are hiding. (The mates however were unsure of this) Orbot: (Sarcastically) Cool idea! (Seriously) ''Not! What makes you think they’ll talk? Tribot: If I recall correctly, they’re both Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles’ friends. Ace: My zzzzzentimentzzzz exactly. Eggman: (Shrugging them off) Meh, a little persuasion can help. Mephiles: Now, what torture shall we think of? Cubot: (Imitating a cowboy) Boiling in oil? Mephiles: No, too hot. Cubot: (Imitating a pirate) How about keelhauling? Eggman: No! We’re not injuring them! Orbot: I know of a perfect torture! Eggman: (Sarcastically) Why am I not surprised? Orbot: How about marooning? Eggman: No! Mephiles: That’s stupid. ''(They suddenly got an idea) Eggman: I know! We’ll try marooning them! Mephiles: My sentiments, exactly! (Orbot groans while slapping his hand on his forehead in annoyance, for it was his idea. Suddenly, they heard a fake Elvis Presley-like voice singing badly. They looked up and saw near the crow’s nest Etemon singing badly while playing on his guitar. Next to him, Puppetmon and Machinedramon are covering their ears to block out the horrible singing) Etemon: (Singing) Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life You’ll find adventure and sport But late every minute For all that is in it (Even Eggman and Mephiles was annoyed by the bad singing. Wack and the robots on the other hand just ignored their bad singing. Puppetmon gestured Eggman and Mephiles to make Etemon stop) Etemon: (Singing) The life of a pirate Is shoooooooort Oh, the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... (Getting Puppetmon’s gestures, Eggman pulled his gun out and Mephiles conjured up a purple black energy ball and they both shot the guitar out of Etemon’s hands, making it fall into the water, splashing Wack in the process) Wack: (Through gritted teeth) I hate getting wet! (Etemon shouted down to Eggman and Mephiles in anger) Etemon: Hey! What’s the big idea?! I was just singing a song here! I was just almost done when you shot at me! Eggman: Well, next time, sing better! Mephiles: And deal with it! (Angrily, Etemon, while climbing down with Puppetmon and Machinedramon, climbed down to the other side of the ship as well while they talked) Etemon: I don’t understand why they didn’t just shout at me not to annoy them instead of shooting one of my guitars! (Seeing Machinedramon not looking at them, Puppetmon whispered to Etemon) Puppetmon: (Whispering) Well, at least I don’t think your guitar solos are bad like Machinedramon’s shooting is. (Hearing the whispering, despite not hearing what he said, Machinedramon turned to them savagely) Machinedramon: What did you say?! Etemon: (About to speak up) He said…. (Puppetmon elbowed him) Etemon: He said my singing is superb and cool! Puppetmon: Like an angel’s! (Machinedramon glared daggers at them) Machinedramon: If you are insulting me, you better watch it! (During their conversation, Orbot rolled his eyes in annoyance secretly while stifling a laugh, for he knew their physical and verbal conversations can be confusing, funny, and annoying. After they were gone, Eggman puts the gun away and changed the subject with Mephiles) Mephiles: Now, where were we? Eggman: Before we were interrupted…. Cubot: Wow, Captain Eggman and Admiral Mephiles. Shooting the guitar out of Etemon’s hands in the middle of his cadenza? (He then chuckled and then spoke in a gangster voice) Cubot: (Imitating a gangster) That ain’t good form, you know. (Orbot and Tribot got shocked on what Cubot said and tried to shush him, but it was too late. Eggman and Mephiles heard him and turned to them calmly at first) Eggman: Good form, Pain? Mephiles: You don’t say? (They got angry and Eggman knocked the desk over) Eggman: Blast good form! (Eggman waves his hook in front of the mates angrily while Mephiles went up to them in anger, showing four old white teeth mark scratches on his left arm) Eggman: Did that stupid hedgehog and his friends show good form when they did this to us?! Mephiles: AND IT HURT, TOO!! (Tribot tried to calm them down) Tribot: Aw, Captain, Admiral. (Giggles) Sonic and his friends cutting the captain’s hand off and getting the admiral’s arm injured were only a couple of childish pranks. Cubot: In fact, he did to save his friends from you. Orbot: (Smacking Cubot) Ix-nay! Eggman: Yeah, well, they then threw my hand to that Goanna Lizard! Mephiles: And after he ate it, one chomp from his chewing scarred my arm, due to those pests kicking me down to him, and he bit Seadramon too! Eggman: And ever since then, that accursed lizard liked the taste of me, Mephiles, and our pet so well, he’s been following us, licking his chops for the rest of me mostly. (As he and Mephiles ranted about this, Eggman took off his cape and walked around while Mephiles calmed down. Cubot tried to seat him in a chair and cover him with a blanket, but he kept missing. Finally, when Eggman and Mephiles finished, Cubot seated Eggman in the chair and covered him in the blanket) Cubot: And he would’ve had you, the Admiral, and Seadramon by now, Captain. Tribot: If he hadn’t swallowed the alarm clock. Wack: But when he is now near, he’ll warn you immediately with his tick-tock, tick-tocking. (As he said “tick-tock, tick-tocking” while Orbot starting to prepare the shaving kit, the sound of ticking is heard nearby. Mephiles and the mates got surprised that he is coming now on cue, while Eggman got a fearful look on his face. Then, from beneath the water, near the ship, a big blue, yellow, red, and black Komodo Dragon-like lizard emerged, looking up at Eggman and Mephiles. That is the Goanna Lizard, the said lizard that is after Eggman, Mephiles, and Seadramon because of their delicious tastes, but mostly for Eggman. As the captain shook in fear, Goanna licked his lips hungrily while drooling) Goanna: Hey there, Egghead, my buddy! Come on down for breakfast. Eggman: Guys.... GUYS!!!! (He jumped off the chair and cowered behind Mephiles and the mates) Orbot: Hey! Eggman: Save me! Don’t let him get me! Go! Do something, now! I beg of you! (Mephiles, while rolling his eyes, and the mates went up the railing) Mephiles: (Getting angry) We’ll handle this. (Then Mephiles and the mates scolded Goanna) Wack: Now lizzzzzten up, you! You should be ashamed of yourzzzzzelf! Orbot: Who do you think you are scaring our captain? Cubot: There’ll be no handouts today! Tribot: Yeah, beat it! (Goanna then begged like a dog) Goanna: Come on, one little lick? (Mephiles and the mates then shouted things like “Shoo now!” or “Go away!” and finally “Get out of here!” and Goanna glared at them) Goanna: Fine. I’ll wait until next time. (He swam away. Cowering behind a chair, Eggman took a peek) Eggman: Is he gone? Orbot: Yeah, Captain. All clear. Tribot: Nothing to worry about. (Eggman comes out of hiding, but is still shaking in fear) Eggman: But guys, I can’t stand it anymore! I can’t! (Cubot calmed him down as they seated him in the chair again and covered him in the blanket again) Cubot: Now, relax, Captain. What you need is a shave. (Cubot then wrapped a towel around Eggman’s head) Cubot: A nice clean shave. (As Eggman calmed down underneath the towel, he fell asleep) Mephiles: You’re seriously going to shave him? Cubot: Yeah. (Cubot then started singing while Mephiles walked away) Mephiles: I’m going to get a drink. Cubot: (Singing) Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-sailin’ over the sea Give me a career As a.... (At the same time Cubot was singing, a seagull was flying by, when it noticed Eggman’s towel-wrapped head, and thinking it’s a nest, it laid on it. After it landed on the towel, Cubot stopped singing when Orbot spoke up upon noticing the seagull along with the other mates) Orbot: Uh, Cubot? Cubot: Not now. (To Eggman) Captain, we just can’t help but notice, you’re not your usual happy self lately. (He then covered the seagull’s butt and tail with shaving cream, thinking it’s Eggman’s shadowed face. Wack tried to explain what’s going on) Wack: Cubot, you’re actually…. Cubot: Not now. (Cubot then took a shaver and started singing) Cubot: (Singing) Give me a career As a buccaneer.... (As he prepared the shaver, Cubot suddenly remembered what the crew forcefully asked him and the mates to do about leaving Mobiusland, stopped singing and spoke up) Cubot: And the crew’s getting really impatient, Captain. That is, what’s left of them. (Cubot then shaved the seagull’s butt and tail clean of it’s feathers. Annoyed by Cubot’s idiotic method of shaving the seagull instead of Eggman’s shadowed face, the mates tried to speak up again) Mates: Cubot, you’re shaving the…! Cubot: (Getting angry and annoyed) Not now! (He calmed down and spoke to Eggman again) Cubot: So why don’t we just sail away? Leave Mobiusland and forget Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles? (Cubot then rubbed aftershave on his hands and patted the seagull’s butt with it. After he was done, the seagull bolted awake and after seeing it’s naked butt and tail, flew away, squawking in embarrassment) Cubot: Oh, come on, Captain. Don’t cry. We’ll be more happier after that. Not to mention a whole lot healthier. (Cubot then puts some shaving powder on his hands and begins to pat his hands in the air while he is about to sing) Mates: CUBOT!!!! Cubot: WHAT?! (Cubot noticed the seagull’s gone) Cubot: Captain?! Oh my gosh!! I never shaved him this close before! Orbot: Well, if you had payed attention.... Cubot: Shut up and look around for his head! (As Cubot crawled on the floor, searching for the head, his back picked up the chair and the rocking made the towel fall off of Eggman’s head. He woke up suddenly and after looking around in confusion, he noticed Cubot, searching around like an idiot, and got annoyed and angry) Eggman: Get up, you idiot! (Cubot bolted to his feet, knocking Eggman and the chair aside. The mates noticed and they got shocked) Cubot: (Saluting) Aye-aye, sir! (He heard the chair crash down on the deck and noticed Eggman and the chair landed on the other side where Mephiles and the other crew members are. They got confused at first, but they became curious on what happened when the mates arrived down there, shouting in concern for their captain. Mephiles, however, had a feeling something happened) Braig: What’s going on? Mr. Electric: And why did the captain fall down and go boom? Vanitas: We told you to tell him about us leaving now! Mephiles: (Confused) Tell us what? Tribot: Well, it’s hard to explain.... (Cubot went up to a dizzy Eggman, thinking he found his head) Cubot: He’s fine! Good as new! (Cubot grabbed Eggman’s face when the captain snapped out of his dizzyness, got up, took the blanket off and grabbed Cubot, making the crew shocked) Eggman: (To Cubot) You brainless idiot! (Eggman was about to punch him when the crew screamed out at him to stop while Mephiles was surprised) Etemon: Chill, Captain! (Eggman stopped and got confused) Eggman: What? (He drops Cubot) Mephiles: Just what’s going on here? What do you mean “tell us?” Antasma: Let’s just say we want to leave Mobiusland! (Eggman and Mephiles got confused) Eggman and Mephiles: What? Myotismon: You heard him! Orbot: The crew is edgy because we want to leave and go back to being pirates. Bowser: They have a point. (Among the crew, a male cockroach with big yellow eyes, wearing a white shirt, matching opera gloves, a blue vest, an orange bow tie, green pants, and black shoes with white spats over them, is drinking a lot of alcoholic beer in his mug. He is Digit, the alcoholic drunk member of the crew. As this happened, the crew shouted their agreement with Bowser. Eggman and Mephiles then got sarcastic) Mephiles: (Sarcastically) Very well. If that’s your decision. Eggman: (Sarcastically) If that’s what you want. (Tribot hands Eggman his cape and Eggman accepted it and puts it on) Eggman and Mephiles: Not happening yet! (The crew groaned in anger) Eggman: What’s wrong with you?! (The crew quieted down. Eggman then calmed down and with Mephiles, spoke up in a positive way) Eggman: If you help us kill Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, we shall reward you with treasure. Mephiles: But all you have to do is do what we say. Vanitas: (Skeptically) Really? Eggman and Mephiles: Really. Kahmunrah: Let’s just sail away for all I care. Mephiles: Really? Eggman: Let’s just say we have a plan. Crew except Digit: (Confused) A plan? Orbot: Me and the other mates were told of this plan. Mates except Orbot: (Agreeing) Yeah. Cubot: Tell them. Eggman: Mephiles and I plan to kidnap Princess Poppy and Prince Branch of the Trolls and persuade them into telling us where Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles’ hideout is. (The crew is now starting to become convinced by the plan) Mephiles: And when we find out, we’ll maroon them both, find those three pesky boys, and kill them and their friends. Eggman and Mephiles: And as we promise, we’ll leave Mobiusland for good! (The crew cheered. After taking a Napoleon Bonaparte-like hat from Orbot and putting it on, Eggman threw his cape in the air and with Mephiles, then started singing) Eggman: (Singing) From the brains That brought you The Herbivore Cove Caper Mephiles: (Singing) The heads that made stories Throughout all of Mobiusland Eggman: (Singing) And wondrous things like The Mermaid Lagoon job That cunning display That made Mobiuslanders sob Mephiles: (Singing) Now comes the real tour de force Eggman: (Singing) Tricky and wicked of course (Digit took another beer bottle and while refilling repeatedly, drank it all up from his mug) Eggman and Mephiles: (Singing) Our earlier crimes Were fine for our times But now we’re at it again An even grimmer plot Has been simmering In our great criminal brains Crew: (Singing) Even meaner You mean it Worse than the widows and orphans You drowned You’re the best of the worst around Oh Eggman Oh Mephiles The rest fall behind To Eggman To Mephiles Mobiusland’s greatest criminal minds (Then Eggman played on a harp with Mephiles standing next to him) Eggman: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been champagne and caviar. Mephiles: Yes. We’ve had our share of adversity. Eggman: Thanks to those miserable second-rate pests, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prower, and Knuckles the Echidna! (They leered at the pictures of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles on the wall, covered with darts) Crew: Boo! Eggman: (Fake sobbing) For years, those insufferable pests has interfered with our plans. And we haven’t had a moment’s piece of mind. Crew: Aw…. (Digit then briefly sobbed uncontrollably a little) Mephiles: But all of that’s in the past! Eggman: This time, nothing, not even Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, can stop us! Eggman and Mephiles: All will bow down before us! Crew: (Singing) Oh Eggman Oh Mephiles You’re tops and that’s that To Eggman To Mephiles (Then all of a sudden, Digit finally sang out loud drunkenly) Digit: (Drunkenly singing) To both the Greatest Eggfish and Jewelhog (He hiccups. Suddenly, Eggman and Mephiles spits their wine they were drinking in horror on what Digit said. Even the crew was shocked) Braig: Uh-oh. His loss. (Eggman and Mephiles then turned to Digit in anger and got up to him) Mephiles: What was that you said?! (Digit hiccups again) Eggman: What did you call us?! (The pirates tried to stand up for Digit) Metalseadramon: He didn’t mean it, Captain Eggman and Admiral Mephiles! Puppetmon: It was just the slip of his tongue indeed. (Ignoring them, Eggman savagely grabs Digit by the neck rim of his shirt while he and Mephiles yelled at him) Eggman: I AM NOT ''AN EGGFISH!! Mephiles: AND I’M ESPECIALLY ''NOT A JEWELHOG!! Mr. Electric: Course you’re not! (To the pirates) Right? (The crew agreed) Bowser: You’re a great genius and lifeform. Puppetmon: Yeah. A great genius and lifeform! Eggman and Mephiles: Silence! (Mephiles sets up the plank and Eggman hangs Digit on the edge by his back neck rim as the crew watched) Mephiles: Oh, my dear Digit. I’m afraid you have gone and upset us. (Eggman pulls a bell out with an evil smirk) Eggman: You know what happens when someone upsets me or Mephiles, right? (The crew got shocked on this, for they knew what would happen to unfortunate crew members like Digit. Eggman rang the bell and an aqua blue and white sea serpent-like creature with a yellow armored mask and a huge red leaf-like tail slowly emerged from the water, ready to grab Digit and eat him. He is Seadramon) Digit: (Drunkenly singing) Oh Eggman Oh Mephiles You’re tops and that’s that (He hiccups) Digit: (Drunkenly) Excuse me. (He resumed singing as Seadramon picked him up over his mouth as the serious crew looked on in calm horror with the bumbling members covering their eyes and Eggman whistled calmly and Mephiles just stood there, coldly) Digit: (Drunkenly singing) To Eggman To Mephiles To Eggman To Mephiles Mobiusland’s greateeeeeest…. (Then Seadramon ate Digit with one gulp offscreen and licked his lips. The crew calmed down and looked shocked still as Eggman and Mephiles petted Hades’ pet) (Imagine the bumbling crew members giving the shocked expression Spongebob and Patrick made after their Krabby Patty Car got eaten by the frogfish and then the frogfish getting eaten by the giant eel from “The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”)) Eggman: (Baby talk) Oh, Seadramon, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy’s sweet beast enjoy his tasty treat? (Seadramon replied with a burp and left. Eggman and Mephiles then puts the plank away and went over to the front of the mast again and spoke to their crew) Mephiles: We expect there will be no interruptions. Eggman: Now, as we were singing.... (He motioned the bell briefly and the crew snapped out of their shocked looks and resumed their song with their captain and admiral) Crew: (Singing) Even louder We’ll shout it No one can doubt What we know you can do You’re more evil than even you (Metalseadramon suddenly stopped singing and dancing upon noticing something in the sky and went up to the crow’s nest) Crew: (Singing) Oh Eggman Oh Mephiles You’re one of a kind To Eggman To Mephiles Mobiusland’s greatest criminal miiiiiiinds (As the song concludes, Metalseadramon suddenly shouted and got Eggman, Mephiles, and the crew’s attention) Metalseadramon: Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles, ahoy! (Hearing him, Eggman, Mephiles, and the crew got surprised) Eggman: What?! Fire away! Metalseadramon: Three points off the starboard bow! (Eggman pulls his telescope out and looked to see Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Coco, Crash, Crunch, and Aku-Aku flying towards Mobiusland from afar, and they have Molly, Dorothy, Toto, Amy, Cosmo, Tikal, Charlie, Morgan, Tom, Jerry, the Gangreen Gang, the Dazzlings, and Teddiursa flying next to them) Eggman: My gosh, it is Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles! (He hands Mephiles the telescope and Mephiles saw them too) Mephiles: Heading this way with some bratty kids and a few other pests. (He and Eggman turned to their crew) Eggman and Mephiles: Alright, our hearty crew! Look alive! (The crew scattered into their battle positions. Eggman and Mephiles turned to the mates in excitement) Eggman: We got them this time, guys! Cubot: Indeed! (Eggman and Mephiles turned to Bowser and Machinedramon as they prepared a huge cannon) Eggman and Mephiles: Man the Long Tom! (They turned to the mates again) Eggman: We’ve waited years for this! Orbot: That’s not counting the holidays, either. Cubot: Such as Christmas? (Eggman and Mephiles turned to Bowser and Machinedramon again) Eggman and Mephiles: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! Mates: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! (Eggman looked through his telescope again to see Sonic’s group up on a faraway cloud with their new friends, showing them Mobiusland) Eggman: What a sight! We’ll pot them like sitting ducks! Mephiles: Indeed. (They call out to the crew) Eggman: Alright! Range 42! Cubot: Range 42! Mephiles: Elevation 65! Cubot: Elevation 65! Eggman: (To Cubot) Stop repeating. (He resumed his commands with Mephiles) Eggman and Mephiles: Three degrees west! Cubot: Three degrees west! Tribot: (Through gritted teeth) They said stop repeating, Cubot! Eggman and Mephiles: (Ignoring them) Steady now! Steeeeaaadddyyyyyy!! (Noticing that they are now ready to fire the cannon, the mates covered their ears, knowing how loud the cannon is) Coming up: Sonic’s group and their friends meet the Lost Starter Pokemon and after Coco tried to kill Molly, Dorothy, Amy, Cosmo, and Tikal, she’ll face the consequences. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Peter Pan Parodies